Authentic Parenting

“Children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents willing to acknowledge and accept imperfection.”

- Jessica c. vann

Are You Parenting From a Place of Fear or Faith?

Have you ever thought to yourself, “This is hard.” “My children would be better off with another mother.” “I can’t do this.” “My children deserve better than me.” “I will never be like…her!” She is the “other mother,” the perfect parent you wish you could be. She attends every school meeting, bakes the cupcakes for the bake sale instead of buying them, and you’re sure she and the other mothers are judging you at every turn. And...that’s ok! I assure you that every mother has had these thoughts at one time or another.

But what if you could parent free of the pressure to parent by someone else’s standard? What if you acknowledged your imperfections and celebrated your differences. I help mothers to parent from their most authentic self instead of parenting out of a sense of fear that you may not be “good enough.” While fear is a great motivator, it is fleeting and unsustainable. Working together, we will identify your strengths and how they can help you parent in ways that allow you to feel more confident in your role and encourage your children to follow suit!

A New Way…

The good news is there is a new way to parent…a more authentic way. Let’s face it, parenting is rough! Yea, it can totally be trash..it can be and should be T.R.A.S.H! As I continue to grow in my practice, I’m finding that women, especially mothers, are finding it extremely difficult to live up to the myth of the “good mother.” T.R.A.S.H parenting is an acronym intended to turn the insults hurled at mothers who do not “measure up” on its head. T.R.A.S.H Parenting is a declaration that there is no one way to parent, but there are characteristics that benefit the parent-child relationship. A trash parent prioritizes their self-care because they know how their wellbeing positively impacts their household. They are thoughtful, rested, accountable, secure, and happy. All parents should be T.R.A.S.H Parents!

At InVision we challenge mothers to lead with thoughtfulness. Although thoughtfulness is usually what we think of concerning others, exercising thoughtfulness towards ourselves is essential to modeling consideration, reflection, and introspection for our children & those around us.

I Don’t Want To Be Selfish.

Before you ask, “NO! Being thoughtful toward yourself is not selfish,” Selfishness implies a lack of regard for others, and it this cause being thoughtful toward yourself does not solely benefit you. It creates a trickle-down effect where the thoughtfulness we extend to ourselves benefits others. You know the saying, “You cannot pour from an empty cup?” Well, I hate it! Have you ever tried to pour from a cup without tilting it? Impossible right? You may love, are not a cup, you should not have to tilt or bend yourself in order to “pour” into others. In our time together, I hope that you will learn that you are a vase, and you will pour so abundantly into yourself that others will benefit from your overflow!

I Don’t Have Time For Me

Here are 3 simple steps to being more thoughtful towards yourself and making time for your self-care:

  • Give yourself the time and space to think. Set a specific time of the day when you can be alone with your thoughts and feelings. This may require waking up earlier than your usual routine or setting time aside for a consistent bedtime routine.

    Consider journaling! It doesn't have to be a structured thing. You can do what's called "free association," writing random words that come to mind, doodling pictures, and just doing a brain dump in your you time.

  • Think be for you act. Process what you say and do to or for yourself, and if you would say or do the thing to a friend, don’t do it to yourself. You know the saying, “We hurt the ones closest to us?” More times than not, that person IS us.

    Try some mirror affirmations! Mirror affirmations can be done in a few different ways. You can write out a few affirmations on a posit and arrange them on your mirror so they greet you in the morning, or you can write directly on the mirror with a dry erase marker. Another way to do this is to say it with your chest! Look yourself directly in the eyes and affirm all the wonderful in the world that is you!

  • Description text goes hereA new day is a new opportunity to be your very best. Why not start the day off counting your blessings. Be sure to take inventory of all that you have. And on those days where you can’t seem to see the blessings for the fog, refer to your gratitude jar. What is a gratitude jar? Why I am glad, you asked…

    Write out all you have to be thankful for on small slips of paper. Store those slips of paper in a mason jar where you will be sure to see them daily. Do this daily and when you need a reminder, open that jar up and read your slip!

I Have To Be The Only One

There can be a lot of shame in feeling mom’d out. However, shame cannot live in community, and I promise you you are not the only one! A Care.com survey from 2014, for instance, found that “one in four working moms cry alone at least once a week,” and 13% of moms have experienced “high burnout.” Mommy burnout, or as we refer to it “unT.R.A.S.H parenting” (the opposite of all that listed above), is experienced by an estimated 9.8 million working mothers across the US (Leonhardt, CNBC.2020). Less than a third of parents surveyed agreed that caring for the kids is split evenly among both parents, and working moms are 28% more likely to experience burnout than fathers.

This is the season of you!

Therapy provides a safe space for you to share your genuine thoughts & feelings towards motherhood, especially those that society says are “unladylike” or “immature” to give voice to. In this space, you are encouraged to express all of yourself, even those things you have been told you aren’t supposed to say. We are breaking the silent agreement we made to be “good mothers” & stepping into our authentic selves as T.R.A.S.h Parents ( Thoughtful, Rested, Accountable, Secure, & Happy).